10.27.2005
Ponder....
Ponder....
It has been a very tough 2 weeks. I'm pretty much down to nothing in the moolah, and thanks to my close friends i'm getting along. Nicky and Diana has been gems and I totally owe it to them for helping me out.
Was just thinking to myself today as i was walking home, about some events that has happened over the last couple of months. As many may know, I've gotten myself out of a relationship that doesnt need to be re-introduced ever. Of coz it is impossible to say that it was empty and there was nothingness over the span of 6over months when i was with her. There were obviously moments that I probably enjoyed, along with mostly others that I didn't.
More often or not when a relationship goes bad, the bad memories seem to cloud the mind - helping you 'Move on' and making you forget the sappy part of it that binds you down. And after that push and you think that you are going good and enjoying your 'new' life, the other type of memory pushes in. I'm not saying the going all sensitive and back-longing type of thing, it's more... of a pondering. It's not even the 'what-went-wrong' phrase and 'what should i do/not do next time', 'where are the faults, and what can make me better person' stuff. It's just a ... pondering.
Many probably think I've gotten out of that phrase and have totally 'erased' that out of my life. Perhaps. Or a more accurate answer would be I've managed to chuck so far back at the corner of a narrow canal in my head that does bother me as much.
That being said, sometimes it still does. Like how the past week, i was confronted with things that I see on the streets that are pinpointed at making me remember. I don't get all wobbly and my mind doesnt get all that flash back stuff (thank god), but there is part of me that feels pretty much alone in all of this.
None of the guys probably want to talk about it. Coz it was a issue that almost split me apart from them. None of the girls want to talk about it for obvious bias reasons. Most of the time I myself try not to bother, and... walk away. But in the end, it'll be nice to talk to someone who might actually understand.
Well.. It's a long post, and i'm just feeling a lil thoughtful tonite.
It's easy to say things like 'move on' and 'get over it'. It's easy to even do them sometimes. What's not easy to do is to 'carry on' - 'moving on' and 'carry on' - getting over it.
Makes sense? Maybe only to me.
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1 Comments:
Hey! Nice blog template. :)
Anyway, I really wouldn't know exactly what happened, but to me what's most important is that you're happy now and know that life will be better from now on and that thinking abt the past are only memories and that's it.
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