Do i have a 'come-punch-me-coz-i-dun-like-you' face?
I'm born with a face that aint really smiley!! i cant force it wad.....
| louis at 18:58
7.29.2006
The world moves on right? even after a rough patch or some decisions that we make. Some say "As long as you're happy", and followed my dad's old words. I've made decisions that i 'thought' would make me happy. Obviously my decision making skills are very very rusty and short-sighted - which usually results in lots of heartaches and other people gettng hurt.
I get it my way most of the time; I'm not referring to the fancy toys your parents buy you when you're young or the undivided attention that they give you. In fact, it's the reverse. I think i grew up too fast when i was younger. I've always been left alone, made my own decisions, decided what i like to do and ventured into it.
When i was 15, i wanted to pick up the guitar, my mom said," Such a waste of money and time!" and she refused to help sponsor a little for my guitar. I dugged out $34 and bought my first guitar. It's such a shitty guitar but i loved it. Of course i still have it!
When i was 17, i wanted to go into this 6-month biblical course. My aunt(who was catholic) thought i was being silly. My mom obviously had violent objections. I decided what the hell(pun intended) and enrolled myself in it anyway. My dad paid for it even though i hardly see him and he doesnt live with us anymore.
When i was 19, I wanted to pick up photography. My mom said,'such a waste of money and time!' (see the trend?), my dad told me to go ahead with it. So i worked in this restaurant called 'The House of Mao', for a month. Saved up $650 and bought my first SLR manual camera. During that time, the only decisions to make were 'Automatic? or Manual?' and 'Canon? or Nikon?'. Nowadays - it's Digital?Analog?Canon?Nikon?Fast?Slow?WBalancing?digitalsync?etc etc etc. This digital age of photography... i'm still stuck halfway. but I digress.
So i grew up pretty much fighting for myself; and obviously getting what i wanted, in my way.- which happens to be my favorite oldie song. 'my way' - originally translated by Paul Anka, then popularized by Frank Sinatra. Coz my old man sang it to me while i was half drunk in a pub in bintan.
I hate it that i get it my way sometimes. Coz doing that hurts others. And i hate to hurt others.
Darren mentioned that i was the 'disclaimer king'. Coz before i do anything i'll say something about it first, and make sure that i'm 'covered' before i get myself into anything. Is that being safe? protecting myself? or is that being a coward, coz i'm afraid of making mistakes. - which is another characteristic of a Capricorn-perfectionists pricks.
Oh, and Capricorns cant make up their mind. They can think till the entire farm turns gay but still won't decide on anything ultimately. - Coz they're half fish and goat, and cant decided to live in the sea or land.
I'm feeling like an auntie auntie recently. Walking up and down the electrical stores looking at fridges, washing machines, dryers and microwave ovens. Been also at lighting shops and now i know the differences with the many types of lights and all that. Oh not forgetting the differences in fabric types and construction frames from local factories and china factories for sofas and chairs. Damn i feel poor.
I just bought a nice long L-shape sofa in dark maroonish brownish colour and hopefully it'll be ready by mid-aug. I've also been eyeing this oriental dining table but it takes 45days for a made to order type.. so.. maybe tomolo i'll do that.
Things are moving pretty smoothly at the renos, the air-con is in and they're painting today. By the end of next week the flooring will be completed and most of the carpentry done. It feels good knowing that i'm getting my own place. It feels even better knowing that i'll be owning it soon. The only thing is i cant loose my job for the next 5 yrs. Nicky's planning to move out after a year so i'll have an empty dark-wallpapered room available from jan 2008. Any takers?
Esmond and Sue-ann will be in and out by october so i'll have an empty room from Oct2006. Which currently is reserved for val, but if anyone wants it.. it's negotiable.=)
Hiaz... i dunno why but i've been sneeeeezing for the past 2 days. I'm allergic to dustmites. and the nasal spray aint working it's best. So now i have to lie down....................
i havents checked my email for like 8 days and there's been so many updates ard my life. Sigh.. maybe it's just the drawback of being away all the time. Things continue to move and i just need to catch up.
Yawns.... just got back from my renovating place.. and it looks pretty damn messily good! nothing is constructed yet and all but the layout is nice!