7.29.2006
The world moves on right? even after a rough patch or some decisions that we make. Some say "As long as you're happy", and followed my dad's old words. I've made decisions that i 'thought' would make me happy. Obviously my decision making skills are very very rusty and short-sighted - which usually results in lots of heartaches and other people gettng hurt.
I get it my way most of the time; I'm not referring to the fancy toys your parents buy you when you're young or the undivided attention that they give you. In fact, it's the reverse. I think i grew up too fast when i was younger. I've always been left alone, made my own decisions, decided what i like to do and ventured into it.
When i was 15, i wanted to pick up the guitar, my mom said," Such a waste of money and time!" and she refused to help sponsor a little for my guitar. I dugged out $34 and bought my first guitar. It's such a shitty guitar but i loved it. Of course i still have it!
When i was 17, i wanted to go into this 6-month biblical course. My aunt(who was catholic) thought i was being silly. My mom obviously had violent objections. I decided what the hell(pun intended) and enrolled myself in it anyway. My dad paid for it even though i hardly see him and he doesnt live with us anymore.
When i was 19, I wanted to pick up photography. My mom said,'such a waste of money and time!' (see the trend?), my dad told me to go ahead with it. So i worked in this restaurant called 'The House of Mao', for a month. Saved up $650 and bought my first SLR manual camera. During that time, the only decisions to make were 'Automatic? or Manual?' and 'Canon? or Nikon?'. Nowadays - it's Digital?Analog?Canon?Nikon?Fast?Slow?WBalancing?digitalsync?etc etc etc. This digital age of photography... i'm still stuck halfway. but I digress.
So i grew up pretty much fighting for myself; and obviously getting what i wanted, in my way.- which happens to be my favorite oldie song. 'my way' - originally translated by Paul Anka, then popularized by Frank Sinatra. Coz my old man sang it to me while i was half drunk in a pub in bintan.
I hate it that i get it my way sometimes. Coz doing that hurts others. And i hate to hurt others.
Darren mentioned that i was the 'disclaimer king'. Coz before i do anything i'll say something about it first, and make sure that i'm 'covered' before i get myself into anything. Is that being safe? protecting myself? or is that being a coward, coz i'm afraid of making mistakes. - which is another characteristic of a Capricorn-perfectionists pricks.
Oh, and Capricorns cant make up their mind. They can think till the entire farm turns gay but still won't decide on anything ultimately. - Coz they're half fish and goat, and cant decided to live in the sea or land.
Me thinks i'm a Full blown Capricorn.
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1 Comments:
Sometimes it's better to be able to get your own way than looking back in future and lament your regrets. :)
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